I Will Believe
by Amashelle
Summary: Named after the song by Nicole Noredeman sp? , this is a serise of short vignettes about the Pevensie children in their most trying moments.
1. One of us is big and brave

These vingettes are named after lines from the song 'I Will Believe' By Nicole Nordeman (did I spell that right?) from the _Music Inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe_. They are organized in order of the lines, and depict moments that, I feel, capture what is meant by the lines used to describe each of the four Pevensies. Any feedback is more than welcome, and I hope you enjoy!

First up: Peter, then Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

**One of us is big and brave**

The thought of the battle was not the frightening one: I had been in hundreds of battles before, back in that old life. Back when I was a king. The frightening thought was that I was not the man I used to be: I was a child again. A mere boy about to go up against a man who lived for blood. Would my muscles remember the moves they had learned, or would they reflect the body I was now trapped inside? After all, Caspian had disarmed me without even breaking a sweat.

There was also another thought, one I'd never had in those many battles of my last life, when the real world was only remembered as distant, forgotten dreams: what would happen to me back home if I died here? What would mum say if I never came home again? How would Ed and Susan and Lucy explain my sudden demise?

Lucy.

It didn't matter what happened to me, as long as I gave Lucy and Susan the time they needed. If they could only reach Aslan, all would be well, if not for me, then at least for the rest of them. That was the thing to remember.

But he's so much stronger than I am! His sword swings are hard and fast and pounded down on me like nothing I could think of. Dodge. Use his strength against him. That was the key. Tire him out: he was older. Much older. He would tire long before me. Dodge, swing, hit, anything to get in a strike. My sword digs into something. His leg. I must have hit his leg. We step away from each other; he limps a bit. There is blood on my sword and on his thigh. Yes. I'd hit him.

First blood?

I ache. My left arm feels heavy, and it hangs limply at my side. Please hurry Lucy.

There is a rider approaching in the corner of my vision, and though Susan is there, Lucy is nowhere to be seen. What could have happened? The blur of my thoughts trails off into one desperate reminder: don't loose hope.

Have faith in destiny: I was here for a reason.

I was here to be the brave king I was meant to be.

If I could believe in that, I could face anything.


	2. One of us is tender hearted

**One of us is tender hearted**

We weren't coming back.

In a way, it didn't quite seem fair. After everything we had done for this place that shouldn't exist, but somehow did, we were supposed to live happily ever after in a world that was nowhere near as bright and wonderful and full of love as this one.

But I think the most heart wrenching thing of all was that we had to leave behind us the power to make a difference.

There was so much hate in our world. So much death, in a war that didn't want to end: a war I was helpless to stop. How could I go back there after seeing how much I could do in Narnia?

It's all I can do not to cry, and I hate it because I feel so selfish, and because, despite everything, I can't do a thing to change Aslan's mind.

And I hate it because it makes me feel angry. I don't like being angry. Like a hot coal is smouldering away in my stomach.

I tell myself: get over it, Susan, but I can't. How can I get over a loss this great?

'You must come to know me in your world, now.'

That's what he'd said, and I had an inkling of what he meant, but I didn't have Lucy's faith in the unseen. I couldn't prove that he was there in that other world, and certainly, it was hard to believe that, if Aslan did exist over there, that he would do nothing to end that war, two.

It was so hard to have faith. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was _meant_ to be in Narnia. I could make a difference here. Over there I was just another girl. A child. I couldn't even volunteer to be an army nurse.

'You must come to know me in your world, now.'

I had to believe.

But I didn't know if I could.


	3. One of us is tempting fate

**One of us is tempting fate**

She wasn't at all like I remembered her: but then, I should have seen this coming.

After all, what adult had ever paid me any mind? I was too young. People only ever saw that. Even Peter. Perfect, pompous, portentous Peter.

But this woman, this 'queen' was somehow worse. I didn't know how she had come to be queen, but the very fact that so many opposed her rule said she wasn't a very good queen, whatever she might tell herself.

The fox looks so obstinate. She will kill him, and that will be that.

He'd called me 'your majesty.'

I had to tell her. I had to try to save this poor fox's life, but as soon as I revealed the rest of what I heard at the beaver's dam, he looked so… betrayed. Like the fawn back in the queen's dungeon.

How could saving his life be a betrayal?

And then I understand, just as I understand the collection of stone statues that had crowed the witch's courtyard.

I should have kept quiet. I've only gone and made things worse, like I always do.

_Please let it be a dream_.

Except it wasn't. I couldn't say how I knew that, but if anything was the dream, it was my old life.

The more I learned about this place… Narnia… the more connected I felt.

I was meant to be here, of that much I was certain. And the more I saw of the witch, the more certain I became that I was on the wrong side.

*

Aslan. I hadn't believed the awe and fear people had whenever they said his name, but I did now. Free of the witch, I stand before him as the sun rises around us. I'm afraid of what he will do to me. I can't look him in the eyes.

'I'm sorry,' I mutter. It sounds so pathetic. My voice is weak and it quavers with every syllable.

But he smiles, and I look up.

It will all work out for the best now.

I believe.

That's all that was ever asked of me.


	4. And the last but not least of us

Sorry for the delay, I had trouble figuring out Lucy. She's the character I can relate to least, so hopefully this turned out alright.

**And the last, but not least of us, has faith enough for each of us**

They never listened. Why did they never listen to me? I scowled as they turned on me, again, walking away from what I knew in the deepest depths of my heart to be true.

Aslan was not just a lion. How could they possibly have forgotten how unlike an ordinary lion he was? Peter, who had been knighted by him; Edmund, who had been saved by him; and Susan, who had seen him come back to life. How could they possibly think an ordinary lion could be mistaken for Aslan?

But the worst of it was that they didn't believe me. After everything. All those times I had been right in my instincts, and still they treated me like a delusional little girl.

And yet, I followed them away from the gorge. Away from where Aslan had wanted me to go. I followed them even though everything in my being told me it was the wrong direction. I followed them because they were my siblings, and I had faith that, eventually, they would believe me, and then all would be right.

I didn't realize how much would have to happen before they turned to me. How many would have to die.

_We can never know what might have been._

My heart broke at the thought; that if I had only had more faith in my own courage, my own independence, I might have saved all those who had died in the attack on the Miraz's castle.

I never doubted the impossible: magical lands inside a wardrobe, animals that could talk and centaurs and fauns and so on, a lion who had come back to life after a dreadful sacrifice, magic, wonder, ANYTHING. I had faith in Aslan. There was no impossible when he was around.

Except, apparently, knowing how things might have turned out. I frowned and sniffed back a tear. It was so hard, wondering, and I realized that, for all my faith, I did not trust myself. I doubted my own actions: I was afraid I might do something that would isolate me from my siblings. Even as Queen, I had never done anything without their blessing. I was so afraid of loosing them that I followed their decisions even when I knew I was in the right.

But as I sat in the glade with Aslan, knowing my dear siblings were fighting a loosing battle against an army I didn't dare imagine, I realized that they would always be with me. No matter what I did, even if it put a thousand seas between us, we would always be siblings. Even in our fights and arguments, they always loved me, and I them, and that was the most important thing of all.

What's more, I realized we would always be together.

I believed.

By believing, one sees.


End file.
